What's healthy, beautiful or even Normal?

*http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/images/39/2009/12/glamournude_dec2.jpg

I have a theory that the reason why weight loss strategies doesn't work on a lot of people is because they try to only lose weight in order to look a certain way instead of trying to maintain a healthy life. Sure, they may say that when asked but most people, secretly, just want to look 'good' naked, what ever that may be.

That being said, my brain is starting to over-think this whole "body image" subject that the people around me have been speaking of for the past couple of months. Add in the fact that I have gained a good amount of weight to my small stature, and I have myself a confusing issue.

Instead of weighing historical and social factors that have shaped men and women's beliefs about what is considered beautiful, I have made up my mind that it's not about looks.

I know that its really all about what's healthy and what feels good, however, the self-consciousness is always there; just wondering if anyone notices how fat my ass has gotten or if I look good naked. Call it self-loathing but I just can't help it, not in this weight obsessed culture anyway.

I find myself wondering these days, who is considered healthy and normal? Who is exactly the look and voice of the present day woman? Are they the ladies who are featured in the picture at the beginning of this article or Lizzie Miller, who created a wave when she posed for this 'unflattering' photo in Glamour magazine yet received praise for being a 'real woman' at 5'10 and 175 pounds?

Would I look that happy if I had her body?

Or is it model Kate Moss who once proclaimed that "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

Does she have the body that I am supposed to compare myself to and strive to emulate, body wise not lifestyle wise?


If I'm not supposed to look like Kate Mose than who are considered those who take good 'care' of their bodies, I wonder?

Are they body builders or women who work out to gain the desired six packs?

[Remember when the movie Blue Crush came out and the movie became more famous for its toned stars than story line? Did anyone else feel a slightly bit self-conscious as a teenager/young girl/ adult?]

Was that what I supposed to look at when I was sixteen years old?


What about the women who are considered "big," "thick," or "curvy"?

Are they the new faces of the average American woman?

Would I consider myself beautiful if I looked like this?

Do they feel healthy?

Are they actually healthy?

What about women who are considered obese? Are they allowed to think of themselves as healthy, beautiful or even normal? Even when more and more women in society look like they do? 

Will this new actress receive the respect she deserves or be ignored because of her body?

Why did we become a country that judges the value of a person based on the amount they weight instead of the weight of their character?

                                    

How am I supposed to feel when an actress declares that she is happy with her body size in one instance, then graces the covers of fitness magazines showing off the weight she lost?


Would I lose respect for the actress in the above picture if she chose to change her body?

Is she doing this for health reasons or because she feels the pressure to look a certain way?

Am I supposed to feel respect or remorse?

If I felt pressure to look a certain way and decided to change my body, would I be less of a feminist?











Are these slender, fresh-face women really happy about their bodies or are they happy that you can finally stop calling them fat?



Do I really want to be a slave to my caloric intake?

What about those women who are deemed naturally skinny? 

Am I supposed to be jealous?

Or follow the advice of magazines that tell me to "eat like a skinny girl?"

I wonder if the editors of those health magazines realize that their "tips" for healthy eating end up on Pro-anorexia websites? Would they consider them tips then?

After all of this thinking and wondering, I sometimes stop to think about my race and wonder; since I am Asian am I supposed to look like her?

Should I be submissive, large breasts, small stature, and have a thin waist even though I don't want to. 

Lastly, is skinny supposed to equal healthy?

Is being overweight supposed to equal unhealthy?

What am I supposed to tell a little girl who feels fat because she does not compare to the images she sees on TV OR at school? 

Is this what our nation's obsession has lead to? 

A generation of people who feel unhappy with who they are based on what they weigh and how they look? 

As I wrote this article, I wondered, are my mixed-feelings of confusion, jealously, anger, frustration, sadness, and remorse showing through? 

I really hope they are. 

What angers me the most, is that no matter the class I take or book I read or validation I feel, nothing will quiet the voice that screams: "I'm fat, ugly and no one will want to look at me and find me attractive." 

(The image  of Lizzie Miller was found in this article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1210814/Lizzie-Millers-Glamour-magazine-shoot-How-models-picture-shook-world-flabby-tummy-all.html)

(Picture found at http://www.withamymac.com/news/2009/12/03/kate-moss-and-i-agree/)

(Pictures of Marissa Jaret Winokur, America Ferrera, and Jennifer Hudson were found:

http://www.fitceleb.com/2009/04/30/dance-your-a--off-, http://profashionelle.com/39th-annual-naacp-image-awards-2008-celebrity-red-carpet-fashion/ & http://profashionelle.com/39th-annual-naacp-image-awards-2008-celebrity-red-carpet-fashion/ , respectfully)

Stupid Quote of the week

I think I'm going to try this series out. :-)

The first one is from memory:

[Stupid former Co-worker]:" No, Catholism didn't start in the Philippines until 1945 when General Douglas MacArthur brought it over. "

(I have a lot to say about this, I don't know where to begin and a lot of it is mean.)

This one came from last night:

[Friend spoke about in last blog]: "Wait, you're telling me that Janet Jackson and Michael Jackson are brother and sister?"

(And you wonder why I don't want him drunk driving near my living area!)

I am annoying and wrong? No sir, you are wrong and a big-fat idiot to boot!

A friend of a friend is starting really piss me off, like really. So much so that every time he opens his mouth I prejudge his words to be stupid.

Why?

Well, he likes to drunk and drive to my apartment without seeing what the big deal is. Then calls me annoying the day after for chastising him about it when he walked through the door.

Excuse me? He's a guest at my apartment and as a guest, it needs to be realized that going to stay my place, when he doesn't have one (he stays on a navy boat), is a privilege not a right.  That as a guest, he should come to my place acting like he has sense.

This isn't about him, I've tried being the good friend and care about his well-being and career. But he doesn't seem to care. I've tried being the good person and care about the other drivers on the road. But he doesn't seem to care. Lastly, I've tried only caring about my neighborhood and my "call 911 happy neighbors" but alas he doesn't seem to care.

It seems like I am talking about a fucking idiot, doesn't it? It's because I am.

At this moment, the only thing I care about is myself with a touch of the other people on the road. How many times does a person have to be told that an activity could not only kill yourself but other people without feeling remorse?

What he doesn't realize is that I only care about people until a point, that I am only nice until a point. I've already told him that he is not welcomed to my apartment if he is drunk.

If that doesn't help, I will call the cops and ruin his life and career.

Am I heartless? Sure but now its me who doesn't.give.a.fuck.

If I did, I have 'hit by a drunk-driver' survivor stories like this that bring me back to reality:

In other news, every two days a person dies from a traffic accident in the area I live in. Wanna make a bet that many of those accidents are caused by drunk driving? 

I should join M.A.D.D. or D.A.D.D. or something to that affect. 

Oh and I really hate stupid people. 

What to do with my life

(-) I am still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. Should I be a teacher? Counselor? Should I work in the health field?

What do I want to do exactly, I have no exact clue.

All I really know, is that I don't want to join the military. That choice just doesn't seem right to me.

Apparently, college is where one should figure out what they should do with their life and I can tell you that I still don't know.  Actually, I do know but that job doesn't actually pay money.

:-(

Edit: What should I do, right now?

• Get renters insurance 
• think about my future academic choices 
• work-out
• look at the snow and take pictures
• journal 

amend-um: White Collar

The show is getting better, but I can't help but wonder if it will have some staying power.

I have a feeling that Season 2 will be its deciding factor.

Dial J for Jealousy

I am a jealous person

and I can not help it

where does it come from?

why is it here?

It's like the loch ness monster,

I deny that its there

but

everyone else notices its presence

OR

maybe I'm wrong,

and its more like the sky

always lingering

waiting to swell

and rain down on the world

MJ's children

Paris, Lionel Richie, Prince and "Blanket"

Grammys 2010 

Commentary: Paris is so beautiful and I believe that "Blanket" looks just like MJ. 

Interesting. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k038KUY5Q-M

Paris and Prince accepting the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Grammys for their father, they really do love and miss their father. 

Commentary: So sad. If you watch closely, however, you will notice how Prince stands in the same manner as his father. 

Is anyone wrapped up into the controversy over the genetics and ethnicity of MJ's children? I'm not but I do know that for some people this topic is touchy because of the fact that it seems like MJ was ashamed of being a black man.

I feel that instead of being angry, they should feel sad for him; it takes a lot of self-hatred to hate the way you look and your own race.

What I don't understand is why people seem so quick to say that Paris, Prince and "Blanket" are NOT MJ's children. Michael Jackson raised them, loved them and cared for them as a father; his family also accepts them as their blood, refusing to believe anything different.I understand what these children, their race and their father's race may symbolize to different communities. As long as their family embraces them as their own blood, I don't believe that there will be a problem; all it means is that they are more open-minded to diversity and different cultures.



Then again, those children may be his flesh and blood like he has been telling us all this time; only time, magazine interviews done by the children when they hit their 20s and (maybe) DNA tests will reveal the answers.

Until then..... we may never know and for some of us, that is okay.

Michael and his babies, many moons ago

The facebook status discussion that sparked this blog:

Status (not mine): maybe it's just me, but I'm really getting annoyed at the fact people keep calling those random little white kids Michael Jackson's children. Yes Michael had a skin disease, but genetics do not lie. I hate to have my intelligence insulted when the proof is more than obvious, but evident. ><

Me: If he took care of them like a father, then those are his kids. They may not be his genetically but it takes more than sperm to make a father. 

6 hours ago · 

 Other person: 

I'm highly aware of the fact those are not his biological children...duh. That's the point I'm making. And I agree with you that it takes more than just reproducing to make a child but actually carrying out the duties of a parent---hence, the existence of adoption. However, what irritates me is that they're NOT Michael Jackson's biological children and he didn't even bother to 'adopt' a black child. What's up with that!? xD

I can see if his skin disease was not publicized and he wanted to hide it. But his transition was public and we ALL know that he is black---a very cute black man too...aww :( Anyway, my argument is that those aren't his biological children and he didn't even to attempt to lift a finger to make one child remotely look like him in his true state---black.

6 hours ago

Me: The only problem I have with that statement is that there are plenty people that are part black but dont look black, like Jessica Beals(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennifer_Beals) & Rashida Jones (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rashida_Jones). I think if those 3 aren't his kids or black than that speaks to MJ and how he felt about his looks, from what I read he was emotionally put down by his father about his looks and he probably thought that those features made him ugly and he didn't pass them on. Without a DNA test, however, we might not ever know whether or not those kids where his or not.

5 hours ago · 

Other person: 

Yeah I remember hearing stories of that as well. But in the Access Hollywood interviews with Tito and I think Janet Jackson as well they said that those 3 ARE Michael's BIOLOGICAL children.

Either way it's kind of like a punch in the vagina for me and PERHAPS other blacks that he wouldn't want to have black children because they're "ugly." Regardless of how you put it with his dad putting him down, the fact is he believed that black was 'ugly,' which is sad and somewhat hypocritical for someone who claims to promote peace and unity. I dunno, his intentions confused me after those kids came into the picture. By all means, I respect Michael as an artist and halfheartedly as a universal ambassador---his music broke language barriers and brought people together. But his reasoning behind those children and what he thought of his own kind puzzles me.

As for the two examples of black/white children,yes you would never guess they have African descent. I have a few cousins that are half black & half German and they have green eyes, fair skin, straight hair, etc. But Michael had 3 supposedly biological children, at least one of the 3 would have caught the 'black genes.'

5 hours ago

Me:  

I don't think he was saying that all Black people were ugly, I think he was saying that he were ugly and so were his genetics.I don't know why he didn't use sperm from any of the black men in his life. That's probably an answer we will never have unless Michael has hidden journals.

As for genetics, I think nature isn't always perfect and has some "oopsy daisies." For example, in my uncles's family of 8 children his youngest daughter has cystic fibrosis when genetics would deem that half of those kids should have the disease. I understand, however, that Michael more-than-likely claimed full-blooded white as his blood.

The only reason I am playing devils advocate is because a lot of people do not realize that I am part Filipina and when they find out want to either dismiss that or dismiss my white side. 

I think its nice, however, that MJ's family are so insistent to think of those 3 kids as their blood and to raise them in their lives as such.

4 hours ago · 

Other person: Yeah, I guess we'll never know. I just wanted to throw that out there though because it just annoyed me how some people kept claiming that they were his kids, biologically at that.

Meh, whatever. I'll still dance to his music.

Disclaimer: I am not posting this discussion as a "me vs that person" argument, that person's position is valid and does hold merit. I am hoping to show the difference in our view point and to show the intensity of the argument that this controversy may hold for some people.