What's healthy, beautiful or even Normal?

*http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/images/39/2009/12/glamournude_dec2.jpg

I have a theory that the reason why weight loss strategies doesn't work on a lot of people is because they try to only lose weight in order to look a certain way instead of trying to maintain a healthy life. Sure, they may say that when asked but most people, secretly, just want to look 'good' naked, what ever that may be.

That being said, my brain is starting to over-think this whole "body image" subject that the people around me have been speaking of for the past couple of months. Add in the fact that I have gained a good amount of weight to my small stature, and I have myself a confusing issue.

Instead of weighing historical and social factors that have shaped men and women's beliefs about what is considered beautiful, I have made up my mind that it's not about looks.

I know that its really all about what's healthy and what feels good, however, the self-consciousness is always there; just wondering if anyone notices how fat my ass has gotten or if I look good naked. Call it self-loathing but I just can't help it, not in this weight obsessed culture anyway.

I find myself wondering these days, who is considered healthy and normal? Who is exactly the look and voice of the present day woman? Are they the ladies who are featured in the picture at the beginning of this article or Lizzie Miller, who created a wave when she posed for this 'unflattering' photo in Glamour magazine yet received praise for being a 'real woman' at 5'10 and 175 pounds?

Would I look that happy if I had her body?

Or is it model Kate Moss who once proclaimed that "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

Does she have the body that I am supposed to compare myself to and strive to emulate, body wise not lifestyle wise?


If I'm not supposed to look like Kate Mose than who are considered those who take good 'care' of their bodies, I wonder?

Are they body builders or women who work out to gain the desired six packs?

[Remember when the movie Blue Crush came out and the movie became more famous for its toned stars than story line? Did anyone else feel a slightly bit self-conscious as a teenager/young girl/ adult?]

Was that what I supposed to look at when I was sixteen years old?


What about the women who are considered "big," "thick," or "curvy"?

Are they the new faces of the average American woman?

Would I consider myself beautiful if I looked like this?

Do they feel healthy?

Are they actually healthy?

What about women who are considered obese? Are they allowed to think of themselves as healthy, beautiful or even normal? Even when more and more women in society look like they do? 

Will this new actress receive the respect she deserves or be ignored because of her body?

Why did we become a country that judges the value of a person based on the amount they weight instead of the weight of their character?

                                    

How am I supposed to feel when an actress declares that she is happy with her body size in one instance, then graces the covers of fitness magazines showing off the weight she lost?


Would I lose respect for the actress in the above picture if she chose to change her body?

Is she doing this for health reasons or because she feels the pressure to look a certain way?

Am I supposed to feel respect or remorse?

If I felt pressure to look a certain way and decided to change my body, would I be less of a feminist?











Are these slender, fresh-face women really happy about their bodies or are they happy that you can finally stop calling them fat?



Do I really want to be a slave to my caloric intake?

What about those women who are deemed naturally skinny? 

Am I supposed to be jealous?

Or follow the advice of magazines that tell me to "eat like a skinny girl?"

I wonder if the editors of those health magazines realize that their "tips" for healthy eating end up on Pro-anorexia websites? Would they consider them tips then?

After all of this thinking and wondering, I sometimes stop to think about my race and wonder; since I am Asian am I supposed to look like her?

Should I be submissive, large breasts, small stature, and have a thin waist even though I don't want to. 

Lastly, is skinny supposed to equal healthy?

Is being overweight supposed to equal unhealthy?

What am I supposed to tell a little girl who feels fat because she does not compare to the images she sees on TV OR at school? 

Is this what our nation's obsession has lead to? 

A generation of people who feel unhappy with who they are based on what they weigh and how they look? 

As I wrote this article, I wondered, are my mixed-feelings of confusion, jealously, anger, frustration, sadness, and remorse showing through? 

I really hope they are. 

What angers me the most, is that no matter the class I take or book I read or validation I feel, nothing will quiet the voice that screams: "I'm fat, ugly and no one will want to look at me and find me attractive." 

(The image  of Lizzie Miller was found in this article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1210814/Lizzie-Millers-Glamour-magazine-shoot-How-models-picture-shook-world-flabby-tummy-all.html)

(Picture found at http://www.withamymac.com/news/2009/12/03/kate-moss-and-i-agree/)

(Pictures of Marissa Jaret Winokur, America Ferrera, and Jennifer Hudson were found:

http://www.fitceleb.com/2009/04/30/dance-your-a--off-, http://profashionelle.com/39th-annual-naacp-image-awards-2008-celebrity-red-carpet-fashion/ & http://profashionelle.com/39th-annual-naacp-image-awards-2008-celebrity-red-carpet-fashion/ , respectfully)