Hello there

To Whom It May Conern,

Hello there. You may not know this by looking at me, or may you do, but there are days where I just want to just walk away from all my responcibilities.

Walk away from my bills.

Walk away from college.

Walk away from my job.

Walk away from the pressure of having to have a plan for my future!

However, there is a part of me that does not want to leave my family and most of my friends.

Call it being a coward, being selfish or plain ole' being lazy.

What I really want to walk away from is feeling so trapped in the things that only has meaning because society says so.

If I do end up walking away from all this, you might find me living on an island selling mangoes by the seashore. I may look tathered but I'll probably be happier than what I am now.

*(&*(^&%^ %^$#$&*$#&* #&#R&$^Q#$&*@# #&*DSHD&*#E! ]

Thank you and have a nice day!

I really don't want to...

10 things I'd Rather do than Live at Home

10. Live in a Cardboard Box.

9. Eat Jello (I hate Jello) 

8. Have my period every day for a month. 

7. Vote for Sarah Palin for any political office.  

6. Listen to Styrofoam rub against each other.

5. Drink liquid-fat without realizing it's not apple cider. 

4. Have a gross foot in my face. 

3. Write a 15 page paper.

2. Listen to Techno.

1. Move half-way around the world. 

Can you tell? I really don't want to live at home. My mom drives me crazy and my step-father's opinions are too ignorant to ignore. 


It looks like I may have to sell off my possessions and live on people's couches. [I wonder if I would actually do that!]

Grumble. :-( 

My dad, father and friend

My dad has popped into my head at the moment, so much so that it has driven me to write a blog about him. 


Crazy? I know. 


On the contrary from what I have told people, my relationship with him can be rather sweet. 


He's hot-tempered, arrogant and a prick but he's still my dad; this means that at times, he can be rather nice to me. 


When he's not trying to be supreme world leader of the household. 


3 Sweet Memories I have of my father: 


1.] Playing Hide and Go Seek: I had to be be at least 3 or 4 when these silly games happen because I was still at that age where my hand could fit underneath the crack of a door. For hours, him and I would play this game of Hide and Go seek; I always thought he was so clever when he hid in the shoe closet. I would stick my little hands underneath, hoping to grab him and he would lightly squish my fingers with his feet. 


2.] Sneaking my brother and I candy in the garage: During this time, my mother had a problem with my brother and I eating candy; i.e. she hated it! SO much so that she would only let the two of us eat gummy bears if we wanted something sweet. (I have come to the conclusion that she is the reason why I can't stomach things that are tooooo sweet and have to have my sweet tea diluted). Too bad for her, my father loved to be the candy hero and would bring the two of us starbursts candy. The three of us would hide in the garage and devour pieces of this sweet yet banned treat. Each time my mother caught us and would scoff underneath her breath at my father's betrayal. My brother and I didn't care, however, because we got some candy! Yup, Yup


3.] That one time he let me stay home from school for no other reason besides me hating it: One day, while living in Okinawa, I must have mentioned to my father how stressful middle school was for me. The next day, I woke up in a panic because there was light outside which meant that I had overslept! I must have woken up freaking out because my dad came in sat down next to me (like he did every morning) and said, "It's okay Beth, you don't have to go to school today!" I was sooo Happy


P.S. My father has always been the only man in my life to bring my breakfast in bed and to think of my on Valentine's Day. <3

There you have it folks, 

proof that my Dad isn't always

 the ass I make him out to be. 

*This photo of Miley Cyrus and her father Billy Ray has 

nothing to do with my own father and I, however, doesn't it just 

scream Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn? 

I don't mean to insinuate incest, however, this pose is not very fatherly/daughterly! 

Imitation of Life circa 1959

This is me, pushing a film that my generation wouldn't think twice about watching.

It's called Imitation of Life from 1959. It's awesome, it's moving and you'll look pretty smart in front of all your movie Einsteins for watching this film.

Traditionally, this movie was seen as a widow transcending through society and basically 'making it' in a time where having a dead husband equaled poverty or serving another man.

However, there is a second plot that takes over the movie where a black mother must let go of a daughter who is ashamed of her color. This is an interesting look at race relations and how the ways society can affect a person so greatly that they feel ashamed of who they were born.

Quotes to Remember:
Annie: "How do you tell a child that she was born to be hurt?"

Sarah-Jayne's friend: "Why honey-chile, you had a mammie!"
Sarah-Jayne (as Linda): "All my life."

IF you have a heart and choose to watch this movie, carry a tissue with you because you will need it!

:-)

P.S.- Remember to Love and I will too.

I found him!

The man who is going to father my children!

Just listen to him sing.



I know he's Filipino and I said I'd never go down that route, however, you have got to throw out the rule-book for a man who likes Glee and musicals without being afraid to show it.

We need more people on the earth like this, which is why I want to procreate with him.

In order to help the world become populated with more beautiful people!

: /

College, blow me

Sometimes, I feel that college is worthless if one's not incredibly rich and trying to obtain a fine arts degree. No matter how much you think you can change the world with it. 


Grumble. 


Is it okay to start college all over and do something boring, monotonous yet fruitful? 

V-day on a Single person's heart

V-Day 2010 is not what I thought it would be. It's just turned into a reminder that people should not be trusted the way that I think they do.

It's also a reminder that no matter how hard I try not to, I let people walk all over me in the spirit of me caring for them. This is a great set-back because I thought I changed that and that I wouldn't let people do that to me again.

Ugh. How do you allow someone to know that through my hard exterior there lies a squishy underneath, endanger of being heart?

How do let that same someone realize that you are smart and intuitive thus smart enough to know when said person is taking advantage of the fact that you are a loyal yet pushed-over friend? 

I guess it stems from the fact that no matter the situation, I try to have a positive outlook on things and still believe that people are good in nature. It does not matter the bad parts of people I see everyday, I love them unconditionally.

I often wonder why I look forward to this day, more than I do Christmas or Thanksgiving and I am reminded in bits and pieces when I crying moods such as this one; it reminds me that people do feel good and love in their hearts on occasion. People tend to be a bit more creative on this day, then on Christmas and Thanksgiving, all in the name of the love. <3 

I may be in a part of my journey of self-discovery where I am apathetic to people, however, I try very hard to counter that with being positive. I know that statement probably didn't make sense but it did to me. 

I would like to state in a moment of Happiness everyday, however, I have draw backs that are caused by ignorant and thoughtless people that lead me into bouts of Sadness. 

Off topic: In other news, in my mom's extended family there has been a death and a birth, isn't that an awesome example of the circle of life?