nights like these: My only attempt at Poetry

there are nights like these
where everything is still
just the buzzing of electricity
the faint chatter of my neighbors through thin walls
and me
quiet
patient
terrified

on nights like these
i cry
fearing the things that i dont want to happen
damning the things that shouldn't have happen
caring about the things that i want to make happen
the shouldas,wouldas and couldas
so many things keep me away

on nights like these
that make me wonder
where i would be
if my past didnt happen
if i didn't have to find strength in what has happen
if everything that has happen
was different

on nights like these
i am thankful
for people
places
things
for strength
happiness
and the new love i have for myself

on nights like these
i finally realize
that the past is the past
and i wouldn't change anything
because
i wouldnt be who i am
at this exact moment of realization
that i am finally
patient
thankful
happy