I'm sad again.
It's not crippling, as it was before but I'm cranky, non-respondent and weak-feeling. I really could care less about how I am making other people feel right now in my current condition.
My sadness stems from me becoming older and wiser and more alone. So much more alone than I have felt in a really long time. The sadness started as a feeling of disconnection which is the result of change: people graduating and moving, starting new schools, and phasing out of my life.
I hate it but I have to get used to it but I don't know how.
I want to change my life in a positive way and throw away the barriers that are keeping me stationary. I put those barriers up, however, to protect myself from getting hurt from people.
I wish I could say that I have faith that people will change and that I won't be hurt by them but I have been proven wrong many times.
In order to be on the path to change, one will have to have the motivation to change.
....and I'm not motivated to change when the same type of people who have hurt me are still out there.
Grr, maybe I'm over thinking things but
why is it so hard to make new friends?
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