Musings

I often wonder how a person can go about hurting other people's feelings like its a game. 

Then I remember that sometimes, the person doing the hurting sees the act as the right thing to do. 

It's something that haunts my being, at times. I like to say that I have never hurt someone the same way I am hurt but I have. 

Everyone has, I bet. 

I just wonder if they think about it as constantly as I do.  

(yes, I think in conundrums) 

At the moment, I don't know what I hate worse: the fact that at times it feels that I was strung along for 2 years by a person AND my feelings OR the fact that I have to try again and meet men that I'll have to date, in order to play this sad game of emotional cat and mouse over and over again. 

The idea makes me sick. SO sick that at times when the idea of dating can send me into a dangerous panic attack.  

Seriously, that bad.

I wonder if I am making sense to the world and the few, very few, people who are reading this. I want you to know that I am just in so much pain. 

So much pain. :-(