2 blogs, 1 post

If I ever where to send in a secret to www.postsecret.com, it would be this:

There is something about me that I can not forgive myself for; I'm sorry Elizabeth.

==================================================================

Words of Wisdom

I had a long talk with one of my professors last week, she told me this:

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."

That quote is from the Bible, what it means is that a person (ie. you) shouldn't give things of value to those will not appreciate or understand it. Some historians believe that Jesus said this as a warning to his disciples, to only preach to those who are receptive of their teachings.

I give my heart and my kindness mostly to people who do not deserve it. I don't know why I waste my time but I am realizing that I need to quit it because it's tearing away at me. I feel like a failure when things don't go my way, when it reality I gave them something that was never deserved. I want to be free of being the kindest person who get's trappled on and I think I have finally figured out my answer. I need to know a person first before I start to "lay down my pearls" if they are "swine" they do not deserve it. Although it goes against my nature, I think this needs to be done, I need to rise and earn the respect I deserve.

• I need to say "No!"


• I need to go against being good to assholes, douchbags, and motherfuckers for the sake of being a good person.


• I need to love and respect those who respect me back.


• Turn away those who have hurt or betrayed me and have not asked for forgiveness.


• Love those and be true to those who deserve it.

In order to be a good person, I do not need to be a door mat because quite frankly... who is going to respect something they use to wipe the shit from the bottom of their feet on?

Edit: It is now 11:58pm and I am having a spaz attack. My male roommates spent a good part of the day drunk, mixing their off-brand rum with coca-cola. [The night that ensued was insane] As I write this, there are 3 soda bottles sitting on the coffee table that I am fighting not to clean up, I cleaned up after these guys out of mutual-apreciation and while they have paid back my contributions 10-fold, I get the sense that it is not my job to clean up after them. I mean, fuck, they have never cleaned up after me! :-)