once upon a time.

1. List 20 things you want to say to 20 different people but you know you never will.
2. Don't say who they are.
3. Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
4. Never discuss it again.



1. I wish I were a better person to you and someone you can be proud of in every way. Please ignore my faults and mistakes, I make no excuses for myself but to say that I am sorry for making you see me that way. I love you so much that it hurts my heart that you live so far away from me. Sometimes I wish it was still you and I against the world because for as badly as things were, you were my one constant in my world. I love you and I hope you love me too.

2. Sometimes I blame you for the way I feel about men and love and other times I just want to hear your voice. My feelings for you are highly conflicted but Ill always be here for you. That's because I became a better person than what you would have wanted me to become. I don't believe in revenge and hatred like you do, because if that was the case.... you wouldn't be in my life.

3. I know we fight, I just hope you are proud of me. I keep things from you for a good reason because releasing those secrets would break your heart. Just know that I am more like you than you will ever know. My spirit, my being, my strength and my heart comes from you. I hope you know that everytime it seems like I dont like you.

4. I wish you knew who you are and that you could be a better person. But you don't, so you're not. I used to think I cared greatly about you but thats not the case anymore. Thanks for showing me that I shouldn't let feelings cloud my judgement about people. That's the one fucked up thing I have taken away from what ever that was.

5. I have watched you grow into a fine young woman and I hope you a happy life. I just hope that you don't sacrifice your self-worth for that thing called love. If you could ever take anything from me its this: "When it comes to men, watch what they do. Not what they say." and "That nothing, not even love, is worth your self worth." Oh an be patient with her, although she may act self-centered its the best she can do and all she knows.

6. I wish I was a better friend to you because if I was, maybe you wouldn't have just casted me aside for some guy. Its whatever, because I'm here for you when you need me.

7. I wish you lived closer to me, your guidance reminds me that what I am going through is normal. I love you and thank you for everything that you have done for us!

8. I can't believe that I was ever nice to you. I hope we never talk to each other again because you aren't worth the carbon monoxide it takes to tell you to go away. If I hated people, you would be the first on my list. You have no idea how badly your manipulations cost me but I am slowly getting my life back. I wish nothing bad on you, I just hope that you can GO AWAY and NEVER COME BACK! This is one thing I hope you read and understand.

9. I love you as a professor, you make going to class so much easier and I love your hippy-dippy style of teaching! I wish there was a professor like you in every department, maybe students would like their college more! :-)

10. I hope you know that you are so much better and have so much more worth than what you are showing. That is why everyone is mad at you all the time, its just that the people there dont know how to encourage others. I hope you make it in this world because I see and know that you can. IF YOU WEREN'T SO LAZY! GET OFF YOUR ASS!

11. Besides my brother, you are the only other person I have known since birth. I have watched you grow despite your disability. Parts of me wishes that you were normal but other parts of me just loves you the way you are! I hope your future is amazing, and if it isn't you'll always have a place in my home!

12. I wish you could have told me how much I hurt you that one moment, maybe we would have stayed friends. In any case, I hope that what you want may not be your destiny. If it is, then you will have to work extra hard to get it! Remember, brick walls are there for you to knock them down if what you really-really want is behind them.

13. For as many times I call you an asshole, you are not. I'm just going to leave it at that

14. "Thanks for being a friend, travel down the road and back again, your heart is true your a pal and a confidant and if you threw a party invited everyone one you knew. you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say: thank you for being a friend." I loved that I had you in my life, you saved me from overall depression in the short time that we were close friends. I'm soooo glad that we reconnected! I just hope that line never gets cut!

15. You and I are so much a like that it blows my mind. I'm so glad that we met and I think of you as my good friend to! Thanks for making the effort and inviting me out! I cherish my time with you! You have no idea what you have brought to my life.

16. I wish you realize that your self worth isn't equated by the amount of men who think that you are beautiful, want to sleep with you or buy want to buy you things. You have three people in your life who want you in theirs, you just have done them a disservice by not being there. I wish you could cut out everything else and just become a strong role model for them. They need it! I hope you realize that you are very lucky for the support system you have in your life. You need them more than they need you.

17. You stole my innocence and I hate you for that. You told me you loved me and now I don't know what that means. I'm all kinds of fucked up because of you. I hope karma got you because if it hasn't, it will.

18. What can I say? I thought we were friends but obviously you don't know what that means. I wish you the best and hope that one day you finally get it, that you are not the cat's meow. Other than that, I hope you get over him and learn to treat people better. If you don't, all those talents, charm, and smarts you think you have will not help you when you become exactly like your mother. (which is not a compliment)

19. I wish I knew you better or the fact that you were never sick! You seemed like an amazing woman and I am happy to carry your name! Please look after me, because I now think of you as a guardian angel!

20. ...last but not least: you. I know you were reading this trying to figure out which one you where so I left you as the last just to annoy you. I hate that you think that you are not all that and a bag of chips, because you are an amazing person with an amazing heart. You allow me to open myself up to you without being judging or mocking and I thank you for that. I thank you for that because that never happens for me. I hope you and I are friends for a long time. I also hope that knowing me has been as eye-opening as it has been for me. I know I annoy you and hope you realize its just because I dont have any friend who treats me as well as you do and I dont want that to go away. That is all.