poker face

the negative side of not making new friends:

not doing anything
not talking about my day
without human contact


the positive side of not making new friends:

not doing anything
not talking about my day
without human contact


win-win, for sure!

america and guns

As I am watching the season finale of Grey's Anatomy, a terrible thought crossed my mind. In America, the land of freedom and opportunities, a person who is not a cop (american or not) can go to work one day and be shot by a crazed gunman.

Sure, it happens in a lot of other countries, however, this is the place where it happens the most.


It's a pretty scary thought. 

a wish

i have a wish for my mom 
that is impossible. 
i have a wish for my mom 
that will take her own motivation to grant. 
i have a wish for my mom
for her wake up one morning
and not suffer from a disease. 
i have a wish for my mom
that she will find happiness in my brother and i 
by watching us grow into respectable adults. 
i have a wish for my mom
that she will see the world outside of chips, cards, dealers
comps, bright lights, expensive buffets, & 
the lost and gain of money. 
i have a wish for my mom 
that she'll be the selfless person,
those that love her know she can be. 
i have a wish for my mom. 

Graduation: Not so Glamorous

      It has been four days since I have graduated from college and I can not help but wonder where, in life, am I actually going. I mean, what am I going to do? They need to create a new word to describe the amount of "freaked" out and other emotions that I feel after accomplishing such a goal. Ideally, I would have chosen an undergrad degree that would have been lucrative that lead to a great job directly after graduation. The job prospect would have been made stronger from volunteering and internships I would have done in order to give my resume an exciting read. But I did not. (Actually, I did but I changed my major. I wonder how I should even feel about that.)
Anyways......
       I am scared, alone and confused. I feel as if I need to start everything over, just find a way to wipe the educational slate. Then again, I still wouldn't change what I learned in college, I like the view that I have about the world because it makes me feel less like a sheep and more like a border collie trying to herd the sheep. :-) This sense of clarity and social righteousness, however, does not pay the bills. Okay, it does but not enough to live in a better neighborhood AND pay off the student loan debt.

So I am going to choose between teaching, nursing and ultrasound technology OR maybe all three, in order to  do well for the world AND pay the bills.
Who knows, I am still young.