here we go again.

Slowly and surely, I'm moving along. I hate that its taking this long for me to realize things about myself.

For instance...

I thought that there would be a time where I could be friends with him again. Where I would want to. I have come to the realization that idea is not a truth, there is no more room in my life for him anymore. Our time as friends plus some has long past and I am at peace with this truth. This is a funny thing because last year, all I ever wanted to do was talk to him, to understand why he was angry at me for something that I felt was not my fault. A year later, not talking to him is the best thing for me. I know it seems lame that I am still stuck in a small funk, but I was friends with this guy for over 2 years and I could not imagine myself getting over something in a matter of just a few weeks.

At the moment, at 3:26am, I just feel more comfortable to be myself and I am happier for it than I was a year ago.

I just wish that my heart was not as cold to men as it is.

(Don't look back, don't ever look back.)

Taylor Lautner

Taylor Lautner is the guy that plays the werewolf named Jacob in The Twilight Series and I just remembered that he is 18 years old. 

18 years old. 

That means that one year ago from today, I was lusting over a 17 year old. Something has to be illegal about that but, thankfully, its not. (hopefully)