Dial J for Jealousy

I am a jealous person

and I can not help it

where does it come from?

why is it here?

It's like the loch ness monster,

I deny that its there

but

everyone else notices its presence

OR

maybe I'm wrong,

and its more like the sky

always lingering

waiting to swell

and rain down on the world

MJ's children

Paris, Lionel Richie, Prince and "Blanket"

Grammys 2010 

Commentary: Paris is so beautiful and I believe that "Blanket" looks just like MJ. 

Interesting. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k038KUY5Q-M

Paris and Prince accepting the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Grammys for their father, they really do love and miss their father. 

Commentary: So sad. If you watch closely, however, you will notice how Prince stands in the same manner as his father. 

Is anyone wrapped up into the controversy over the genetics and ethnicity of MJ's children? I'm not but I do know that for some people this topic is touchy because of the fact that it seems like MJ was ashamed of being a black man.

I feel that instead of being angry, they should feel sad for him; it takes a lot of self-hatred to hate the way you look and your own race.

What I don't understand is why people seem so quick to say that Paris, Prince and "Blanket" are NOT MJ's children. Michael Jackson raised them, loved them and cared for them as a father; his family also accepts them as their blood, refusing to believe anything different.I understand what these children, their race and their father's race may symbolize to different communities. As long as their family embraces them as their own blood, I don't believe that there will be a problem; all it means is that they are more open-minded to diversity and different cultures.



Then again, those children may be his flesh and blood like he has been telling us all this time; only time, magazine interviews done by the children when they hit their 20s and (maybe) DNA tests will reveal the answers.

Until then..... we may never know and for some of us, that is okay.

Michael and his babies, many moons ago

The facebook status discussion that sparked this blog:

Status (not mine): maybe it's just me, but I'm really getting annoyed at the fact people keep calling those random little white kids Michael Jackson's children. Yes Michael had a skin disease, but genetics do not lie. I hate to have my intelligence insulted when the proof is more than obvious, but evident. ><

Me: If he took care of them like a father, then those are his kids. They may not be his genetically but it takes more than sperm to make a father. 

6 hours ago · 

 Other person: 

I'm highly aware of the fact those are not his biological children...duh. That's the point I'm making. And I agree with you that it takes more than just reproducing to make a child but actually carrying out the duties of a parent---hence, the existence of adoption. However, what irritates me is that they're NOT Michael Jackson's biological children and he didn't even bother to 'adopt' a black child. What's up with that!? xD

I can see if his skin disease was not publicized and he wanted to hide it. But his transition was public and we ALL know that he is black---a very cute black man too...aww :( Anyway, my argument is that those aren't his biological children and he didn't even to attempt to lift a finger to make one child remotely look like him in his true state---black.

6 hours ago

Me: The only problem I have with that statement is that there are plenty people that are part black but dont look black, like Jessica Beals(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennifer_Beals) & Rashida Jones (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rashida_Jones). I think if those 3 aren't his kids or black than that speaks to MJ and how he felt about his looks, from what I read he was emotionally put down by his father about his looks and he probably thought that those features made him ugly and he didn't pass them on. Without a DNA test, however, we might not ever know whether or not those kids where his or not.

5 hours ago · 

Other person: 

Yeah I remember hearing stories of that as well. But in the Access Hollywood interviews with Tito and I think Janet Jackson as well they said that those 3 ARE Michael's BIOLOGICAL children.

Either way it's kind of like a punch in the vagina for me and PERHAPS other blacks that he wouldn't want to have black children because they're "ugly." Regardless of how you put it with his dad putting him down, the fact is he believed that black was 'ugly,' which is sad and somewhat hypocritical for someone who claims to promote peace and unity. I dunno, his intentions confused me after those kids came into the picture. By all means, I respect Michael as an artist and halfheartedly as a universal ambassador---his music broke language barriers and brought people together. But his reasoning behind those children and what he thought of his own kind puzzles me.

As for the two examples of black/white children,yes you would never guess they have African descent. I have a few cousins that are half black & half German and they have green eyes, fair skin, straight hair, etc. But Michael had 3 supposedly biological children, at least one of the 3 would have caught the 'black genes.'

5 hours ago

Me:  

I don't think he was saying that all Black people were ugly, I think he was saying that he were ugly and so were his genetics.I don't know why he didn't use sperm from any of the black men in his life. That's probably an answer we will never have unless Michael has hidden journals.

As for genetics, I think nature isn't always perfect and has some "oopsy daisies." For example, in my uncles's family of 8 children his youngest daughter has cystic fibrosis when genetics would deem that half of those kids should have the disease. I understand, however, that Michael more-than-likely claimed full-blooded white as his blood.

The only reason I am playing devils advocate is because a lot of people do not realize that I am part Filipina and when they find out want to either dismiss that or dismiss my white side. 

I think its nice, however, that MJ's family are so insistent to think of those 3 kids as their blood and to raise them in their lives as such.

4 hours ago · 

Other person: Yeah, I guess we'll never know. I just wanted to throw that out there though because it just annoyed me how some people kept claiming that they were his kids, biologically at that.

Meh, whatever. I'll still dance to his music.

Disclaimer: I am not posting this discussion as a "me vs that person" argument, that person's position is valid and does hold merit. I am hoping to show the difference in our view point and to show the intensity of the argument that this controversy may hold for some people. 

Question of the Day

Does anyone else get the feeling that they set themselves up for failure?

Glee does Smile by Charlie Chaplin:

----> Why yes, I am in a sad and bitter mood. How did you guess?


lyrics:

Smile

tho' your heart is aching,
Smile
Even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by,
If you
Smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through- For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile- What's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just smile.

  

The most beautiful of letters

My friend is being baptized into the Mormon religion and when I asked her "why," she wrote this beautiful responce that I would like to share.

Why?

As a feminist, I believe that women should have a sense of strength and power to make their own decisions where ever life takes them. While her decision was to become a member of the LDS church, it was one that took her own a journey of self-discovery that empowered her to take charge of her life. While her path is not one that I believe many women will choose or view as strong-willed, however, after reading this I dare anyone to call her "weak."

Besides, who am I to push my views onto someone else and try to prove them wrong, isn't that what the movements are going against?

As promised, I am here to elaborate more on my decision. I might sound crazy, but honesty is the best policy, right? Well, I have been seeing the missionaries on and off for 2 years now. They kept telling me if I sincerely pray and ask, God will reveal the truth to me... in anything. I kept praying to know if the Church was true and most often I would not feel anything. But then someone asked me one day, "Figuratively speaking, if this Church WAS true... would you embrace it?" I thought about it and then I realized something. I responded, even if the church was true... I wouldn't want to know because my parents are so against it. The thought of them being so displeased with me was more than I could bare.




But then something remarkable happened. Aaron proposed to me. Awhile back, his bishop (a member of the LDS church) offered to marry us for free at the church. Remembering this, we were debating on whether or not we should take him up on his offer. Neither of us were in the best financial situation, and neither were either of our parents. So on one hand, it would save everyone on money... but on the other hand... my family members would absolutely not want it at the LDS church. But then on the other hand, no other church will marry us for free. We kept debating about this back and forth until finally we decided... we would get married at the church. The day we made this decision, we also decided we should call the bishop soon and let him know. The very moment we started talking about this, the phone rang. It was Aaron's bishop. He said he felt prompted to call us. That is one of many moments in my life where I really felt like there is something greater to this life than what we can see.



Fast forward a little to me telling my parents. My dad was actually thrilled. He's all about saving money and thought it was great. My mom on the other hand told me I might go to hell for this and that my grandparents will be so heart broken. I stood firm and told my mom this is what I want to do, so she can attend the wedding or not... but trying to talk me out of it is not going to work this time. I don't think she's used to me standing my ground so she got pretty upset. She started cussing a little and raising her voice to almost a yell. But... I still stood firm. We ended up getting married in the Church and both my parents and both of my grandparents attended. They weren't happy about it, but they also still wanted to see me get married.



That experience taught me a lesson. Life isn't about pleasing others. You really need to do what makes you happy, and those who really love and care about you will still be there for you in the end... even if they don't approve. This experience made me feel like a new person in a good way. I no longer felt this crippling fear about how my parents will feel about the Church. My heart lightened and my soul felt free. This gave me the courage to actively learn more about the Church and pray with real intent. Since I no longer felt fear, this time I really DID want to know the truth. I kept praying with an open heart, every night. I attended Church every Sunday. During this time, I started seeing the missionaries too. Every day, I reflect upon how I felt about everything. Everything just felt so right. It is hard to describe, but I could feel this warm feeling in my chest and it would travel through my whole body. I felt warm all over. Even when I was alone, I didn't feel alone. I kept getting this wonderful feeling. And the more active I became, the more I prayed, and the more I went to Church... the more I felt this feeling. Surely, if doing all of these things feels so great, it can't be wrong.



During one of my meetings with the misssionaries, the most remarkable thing happened. I realized and reflected back to them saying, "If Jesus even got baptized, it's something we all should do." The very thought frightened me. My parents would kill me if I did something like that. Not literally, but that's how scary the thought is to me. Saying what would normally induce a pit in my stomach and make my legs shake, but saying the words had a completely different affect on me. I felt strong saying the words. I felt this burning in my chest and I felt light like I could fly. I really felt like God was giving me strength and like this was the right thing to do. I have no other way to describe this phenomenon.



It's really more of a feeling than anything else for me. I think that's how it is with any religion though. Every religion out there requires faith, and that's because none out there can be completely proven. I realize I will never know everything, so all I can go off of is how I feel. I can tell you with certainty that I have received more respect than ever from the gentlemen in the Church, including my husband. It's hard for me to really see how others view LDS men as dominating, because I have yet to see or experience it. And the most wonderful thing of all about this Church is they believe every being has a right to choose how they live there life, and we have no right to judge others. The only thing we can do is love others the way Christ would. They not only say they believe these things, but they actually live by it. That's probably why Mormons are viewed as "so nice." So yes, they have strict and conservative views, but they don't believe others HAVE to live by those views. Basically, we all have our free agency. So my decision is based on a lot of things, but mainly how I feel.

Once you get to know me...

I like to hang out with guys more than I like to hang out with girls.

It's not that I don't like girls, actually its on the contrary, I adore my female friends. My relationships with females are deeper than the ones I have with men and that's where the problem is.

My female friends have a record of betraying me without a second thought, probably for a selfish reason.

I don't like it.
I really don't.

Which is why I prefer hanging out with guys, they usually keep their mouths shut. They are not as catty as women are and will hang out with a person, without question, even if they do not like them.

As a feminist, my declaration may sound weird. So I am going to say that the "female mentality" fosters hatred amongst those of the same gender, men may defend themselves with fists.... women will psychologically damage a female.

This is not to say that males don't betray other men, but most of the time its by teasing. The friendship will probably end without incident, however, women will take it as far as they can.

I wish my female friends would be honest with me if they are tired of me OR AT LEAST keep their mouths shut. I promise to do the same. 

I don't know which is worst.  The way that guys treat guys or the way that girls treat guys.

Polanski Case rant

The Polanski rape case is interesting to me. Why? He's a famous director, his wife Sharon Tate was murdered by Charles Manson's "family," convicted felon and yet he is still honored and financed by the movie industry.

I don't care how much time has pasted, he was convicted of a terrible crime and fled the USA because he didn't want to do his time in prison. Everything would have been in the past if he would have just stayed and done his time.

Boo effin' ho.

That's an admission of guilt, right there. It pisses me off because his supporters do not realize that what he did was WRONG and is STILL WRONG!

I don't care how old the girl was (13) or that her parents allowed her to visit with him. He was in a position of trust and he used it against her.

I also understand why the girl (now woman) doesn't want anything to do with the case, she is grown and just wants to get on with her life. (As many rape victims do!). I applaud the activists who are working for justice, not only for her but countless young women.

Here is the quote from Polanski's NEW wife that started my triad.

PARIS (AFP) – Filmmaker Roman Polanski's wife defended him in a rare interview published Thursday, saying the 1970s, when he was convicted of having sex with a 13-year-old girl, was a "crazy" age of sexual permissiveness.

Does anyone else feel sick and disgusted?

What type of people?

I had a weird thought today, it came to me arbitrarily and it has now infected my thoughts for the day.

I have been wondering what type of person it takes to choose differently than other people.
I'm hoping this statement made sense.

What I have been wondering all day is what it says about a person when they have different desires than others.

Example:

What type of person chooses-

Edward over Jacob? [Twilight series]
Angel over Spike? [Buffy the Vampire Slayer]
Facebook over Myspace?
being quiet vs loud
Reading vs not-reading
movies vs television
cooking vs take-out
traditionalist vs liberal
religious vs atheist

so on and so on.....

Am I making sense?