here we go again.

Slowly and surely, I'm moving along. I hate that its taking this long for me to realize things about myself.

For instance...

I thought that there would be a time where I could be friends with him again. Where I would want to. I have come to the realization that idea is not a truth, there is no more room in my life for him anymore. Our time as friends plus some has long past and I am at peace with this truth. This is a funny thing because last year, all I ever wanted to do was talk to him, to understand why he was angry at me for something that I felt was not my fault. A year later, not talking to him is the best thing for me. I know it seems lame that I am still stuck in a small funk, but I was friends with this guy for over 2 years and I could not imagine myself getting over something in a matter of just a few weeks.

At the moment, at 3:26am, I just feel more comfortable to be myself and I am happier for it than I was a year ago.

I just wish that my heart was not as cold to men as it is.

(Don't look back, don't ever look back.)